On The Road Again: Bidding Farewell to The Vato

Here we are, at the crossroads of history. For something like the three hundred twenty-third time in five years, my blog is moving, hopefully for good. The new address: http://joshhansen.net/

Weird. There's something strangely familiar about that domain name, but I can't quite put my finger on it....

You see, the recent economic downturn has hit the ¡Oye, vato! crew with unexpected severity. We've had to fire all the administrative staff, limit PR to Internet-only stuff, and cut the editorial department down to just one schmo with seniority. It's a dark time here at the office.

So, in order to economize and refocus the operation, we're combining forces with the folks over at the highly exclusive Ziggity Zam site to produce a new blog of epic proportions: monstropolitan. But yeah, the address is just joshhansen.net, the boringness of which required us to compensate with an exciting and incomprehensible name that sounds like some new Godzilla-flavored ice cream. What do we have to lose except our dignity?

Cutting through the pretenses, this new site allows me to combine my public blog (this one) with my family-only, private blog. Especially if they're my buddies or kinsmen, people who register and log in at this new site will get special privileges like access to posts I don't feel comfortable throwing out to the Internet in general ;-) But, for the most part, it's all public so you probably don't really have to bother.

I have, however, started putting up some of my poetry, and most of that will only be available to logged-in friends and family. (Like reading my poetry is really some great motivation to sign up!) I also plan to put up pages about school, research, and professional stuff. In that sense, joshhansen.net will be a lot like Josh Hansen: the online edition.

Hopefully I'll see you -- or, at the very least, you'll see me -- there.
P.S. All of the content (posts and comments) from this blog has been transferred over to the new one.

Today in the Life of Josh

• Awake a bit after noon, shocked to have slept so late. (Gotta set an alarm!)
• Standard prepare-for-the-day stuff. (Pray, shower, read scriptures, eat breakfast (super late breakfast))
• Walk to campus and give Nathaniel the tie that the Sister Sessions bought for us for Britten's wedding
• Work in the lab -- debugging the regressions in the Language-ID system so I'm ready for my presentation on Thursday.
• Walk home a bit after 7. Run in to Mary and chat with her on the way.
• Eat a dinner of rice and veggies graciously provided by Mary, then go to Family Home Evening across the street at the intramural field.
• Listen to Gabe's lesson on dealing with doubts (using Nickel Creek's "Doubting Thomas" song, which I liked)
• Walk/run/sneak across town to Kiwanis park as we played "Fugitive". (When I played that at home in high school we called it Mission Impossible.) On the way I ran into two friends from my last ward. Chatting with them resulted in my capture at the hands of Barney and his evil accomplices, but catching up with friends is more important!
• Come home and write this post

"Quoth the Raven"; Or, On the Demise of Schmoopsy-poo

Well, I got back to Provo last night and one of the first things I did was run like a frightened child to the ever-loving side of my dear Jenny, or Schmoopsy-poo as I like to call her when my heart is most profusely gushing forth its unending affections towards her.

We had been divided by hundreds -- nay! thousands -- of miles, and the tendrils of enduring obsession binding our hearts together were stretched to the breaking point. And so it was no surprise that when we got together last night it seemed that the petals of our fiery flower of love had wilted like a corsage in a microwave. I mean, all she could do was talk about Neal Diamond. And I, for my part, just kept on raving about the ridiculousness of Notting Hill. The very air was poisoned against us and the love that once was, but is now condemned to be no more than a tormenting memory of mushy pet names and awkward photo shoots! So -- with mutual admiration, but unable to overcome the widening gulf rending our relationship in two -- we called it off.

Alas and wo unto us for that past promise of eternal ping-pong matches which now is not! Alas that Jenny-sweets no longer shall gaze into my eyes like a mosquito drawn towards a bug zapper! Alas that my keyboard now is short-circuited by my free-flowing tears!

And so I ask myself if ever the blissful days of yore shall return; if ever I shall dare to leap joyously with heals a-clicking over an oily puddle of rainwater; or if I will once more in this life chuckle at the wit of graffiti on an underpass wall. And then into my dimming mind echo the words I know so well: for thus quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!" And so, dear Jenny, farewell!

A Friend's Poem

After about 5 years of separation from most of my earthly belongings, I finally went with my dad to his storage unit to pick up all of the old junk that I left behind when I went back to college after my mission. Well, it's really cool to go through this stuff after so much time has elapsed. I just looked in the writing anthology that my 7th grade language arts class produced, and decided this poem by my good friend Ben Wilson deserved to be transcribed:

Water Cycle
In the days of rain
the earth is dark
And skies are gray with sorrow,
but on the eve when
the sun breaks through
rejoice is on the morrow.

In the days of sun
the Earth is green
but soon becomes in vain,
For when plants go parched
and start to die
you wish for days of rain
--Ben Wilson

You know, it's not Nobel Prize material. But it's good, especially for a 7th-grader. Nice job, 7th Grade Ben!

Oh, Senators, Again!

Related to my public outrage against the farm bill, the Swine Line lets us know what's been cooking on Capitol Hill as far as fiscal (ir)responsibility. Even the reform committees are adrift in bacon grease leaking out of those pork barrels!

The Epic of Zagmurf

I went to Cheney to visit Susanna yesterday, and had a great time. After going out to lunch, she, Ben, and I all sat around watching me play World of Warcraft. I love games like that -- which is why I forbid myself from regularly playing them, because I can't seem to play in moderation. But, this just once wouldn't hurt, right? ;-)

Anyway, I created a character -- a night elf hunter, as a matter of fact. He was an mighty man, whose name, in the annals, was said to be Zagmurf. Yea, and in the first year of his hunting Zagmurf did slay many beasts of the forest: nasty spider things, and boars, and a rabbit. And Zagmurf waxed strong in the ways of questing, and he did level up.

But lo, Zagmurf's bow-hunting skills were wonderful great, even to exceed all in the realm of Shadowglen. Yea, he slew the beasts from afar, and their poison spraying upon him was like the soothing fall of rain on his skin. And in the second year of his hunting, Zagmurf did gain the Stalk Beasts skill, and received many a ruined pelt as his prize. Nevertheless, Zagmurf was a friend unto the beasts, slaying only that which was meet. And he was beloved of the woodland creatures.

Yet in the third year of his hunting, Zagmurf was afflicted with an strange ailment, and did linger on the threshold of death, even until the forest animals did howl and cry at the sickening of so mighty a man. And in the fourth year, Zagmurf gave up the ghost, and returned to crumble unto dust upon the earth. And in that very hour, a boar did break forth into song, singing:

"The mighty hunter, Zagmurf, is dead!
whose marvelous skill was exceeded only by his care.
May his bowstring spring ever-tight!
May his knife-blade glint ever-bright!
Though his body rot in the grave's earthy bed,
In our mem'ry he'll always be fair!"

And when the boar had sung his verse memorial, he was seen to shed a tear. Then stood forth a deer to speak honorful words over the corse of Zagmurf, saying:

"Behold, all ye who loved Zagmurf! and hark, though your fathers were slain by his bow! Here lieth a man in the glory of death. Yet better it were" -- and he paused, and with his mouth layed a wreath of ivy upon Zagmurf's cold brow -- "to remember the glory of life which he showed us."

And he kissed the man's face, though its aspect was funereal-somber. The deer then righted himself, and continued:

"Indeed, mayhap his love -- which was great -- shall be magnified in death, unto the gain of the living. Yea, haply his power -- which was fearsome -- shall not weaken with his flesh but shall invigorate us to yet nobler deeds of valor. And haply his heart -- which was great -- at his passing beat not its last beat, but its first unto our lasting welfare.

"So all hail Zagmurf! and all praise! For he was, verily, an mighty man!"

Thus fell Zagmurf, the mighty hunter, whose ways were the ways of the just. And he quested no more in the land of Shadowglen.

Pay-As-You-Drive?

There is a proposal for Pay-As-You-Drive car insurance. Your insurance rate is per-mile, not per-6-month-term. This would decrease insurance rates of those who drive little (like yours truly) but raise them for those who drive long distances. It would of course motivate decreased driving, which is a good thing from the point of view of emissions, congestion, road maintenance, vehicle maintenance, etc. I support the idea, since it seems to cause more of the cost of an activity (driving) to be borne by those participating in the activity (drivers).

However, part of the rationale used in the proposal is rests on the assumption that people who drive more get into more accidents. This deserves consideration. Stated flatly like that I have no doubt it is true: the more you drive, the more exposure to the risk of driving you undergo, thus more accidents for longer drives. However, it's also possible/likely that people who drive a lot are, by virtue of larger experience, better drivers than those who drive very little. Additionally, people who drive the longest distances tend to do so on cross-country highways, not in cities. The risks of highway driving are different from stop-and-go city traffic.

So, while long drivers are likely responsible for more total accidents than short drivers, their rate of accidents per mile may be less. I suppose that this could be taken into account by insurance companies by charging a higher rate for the first 5 or 10 thousand miles driven, then gradually decreasing the per-mile rate up to a certain point thereafter.

Oh, Senators!

"Senate" is a from Latin word basically meaning "old folks". You'd think with all of their combined years and experience they'd have learned something about discipline. Nope. Not a bit. Here's the lineup for that offense to intelligence, that fiscal outrage, the shameful farm bill. Go ahead, be ashamed of your duly elected representatives:

YEAs ---77
Akaka (D-HI) Alexander (R-TN) Allard (R-CO) Barrasso (R-WY) Baucus (D-MT) Bayh (D-IN) Bingaman (D-NM) Bond (R-MO) Boxer (D-CA) Brown (D-OH) Brownback (R-KS) Bunning (R-KY) Burr (R-NC) Cantwell (D-WA) Cardin (D-MD) Carper (D-DE) Casey (D-PA) Chambliss (R-GA) Cochran (R-MS) Coleman (R-MN) Conrad (D-ND) Corker (R-TN) Cornyn (R-TX) Craig (R-ID) Crapo (R-ID) Dodd (D-CT)	Dole (R-NC) Dorgan (D-ND) Durbin (D-IL) Enzi (R-WY) Feingold (D-WI) Feinstein (D-CA) Graham (R-SC) Grassley (R-IA) Harkin (D-IA) Hutchison (R-TX) Inhofe (R-OK) Inouye (D-HI) Isakson (R-GA) Johnson (D-SD) Kerry (D-MA) Klobuchar (D-MN) Kohl (D-WI) Landrieu (D-LA) Lautenberg (D-NJ) Leahy (D-VT) Levin (D-MI) Lieberman (ID-CT) Lincoln (D-AR) Martinez (R-FL) McCaskill (D-MO) McConnell (R-KY)	Menendez (D-NJ) Mikulski (D-MD) Murray (D-WA) Nelson (D-FL) Nelson (D-NE) Pryor (D-AR) Reid (D-NV) Roberts (R-KS) Rockefeller (D-WV) Salazar (D-CO) Sanders (I-VT) Schumer (D-NY) Sessions (R-AL) Shelby (R-AL) Smith (R-OR) Snowe (R-ME) Specter (R-PA) Stabenow (D-MI) Stevens (R-AK) Tester (D-MT) Thune (R-SD) Vitter (R-LA) Warner (R-VA) Wicker (R-MS) Wyden (D-OR)

NAYs ---15
Bennett (R-UT) Coburn (R-OK) Collins (R-ME) DeMint (R-SC) Domenici (R-NM)	Ensign (R-NV) Hagel (R-NE) Hatch (R-UT) Kyl (R-AZ) Lugar (R-IN)	Murkowski (R-AK) Reed (D-RI) Sununu (R-NH) Voinovich (R-OH) Whitehouse (D-RI)

Not Voting - 8
Biden (D-DE) Byrd (D-WV) Clinton (D-NY)	Gregg (R-NH) Kennedy (D-MA) McCain (R-AZ)	Obama (D-IL) Webb (D-VA)

No presidential candidate bothered to vote; all senators from my home state of Washington took the road more-traveled and voted Yea. It's called a farm bill for a good reason: it's 100% pork. This is why nobody can convince third-world nations to trade with us (or with Europe, for that matter) -- our farming is so heavily subsidized that they simply can't compete, and everybody is so entangled with the farm lobby that they can't imagine slashing that flood of money wasted making sure sugar farmers have big houses.

I don't know how I can convey my feelings aside from a bolded, italicized capitalized, huge version of the word DISGUSTING. This is the vomit of government. Please, at least have the courtesy to gag.

Mid-trip Report

So I was just reading through my quasi-roommate Gabe Proulx's blog and I realized that I felt like blogging myself. I've been sitting here all night sort of bored yet engaged in writing a mysterious new piece of software which shall be known to you only as "Siegfried", but code-slavery just wasn't doing it. I've been inspired to make the shift back into the realm of natural languages.

I've been in Washington for a while. You know, that's where I grew up. I'm back in my sweet, sweet homeland of southeastern Washington State, and I find myself still in love with the place and its people.

The Trip
A week after arriving in Washington, I went with my sister and her family to California, which was really cool. I hadn't been to Disneyland since I was something like 8 years old, so going back was a significant return to childhood for me. I really liked it, and, as I have told a few people, I think that visits there early in my life are part of why I never cared much for any other amusement park I've been to: Disneyland is an amusement park the way an amusement park should be: It's clean. There are lots of drinking fountains. Smoking is minimal. Once you're in, you can go on any ride (no tickets required). They don't care if you take pictures of the photo previews they show at the end of a ride. The atmosphere is happy! Every ride is detailed and exciting, and seems like an attempt to let you experience something incredible that you have little chance of experiencing in real life, like space flight, or a pirate raid, or an Indiana Jones-style escape from a runaway boulder.

On the way home we drove through Northern California's redwoods, which were magnificent. We stopped on a beach and just walked around for a while. The ocean is freaky and mysterious, but I also find it soothing to simply be there and hear the waves and smell the clean air.

Confronting Fear
While we were at California Adventure I surprised myself by confronting my fears of heights (Soarin' Over California), upside-down rollercoasters (California Screamin'), and plummeting to likely death (Tower of Terror). For me this was a really big deal. I have always been such a scaredy-cat! No, seriously, a real wimp! Well, big, grown-up boy that I am, I was actually able to go on all of these rides that made me so nervous beforehand. It was like slaying an until-then undefeatable giant.

Maybe it's because I've seen and experienced some very scary things that I didn't know how to deal with, but I've noticed that my fears are always way out of proportion to actuality. My fears about the rides at California Adventure were that way -- none of them was even half as frightening an experience as I expected. It was also like that when I ended my over-long hiatus from meaningful dating early this year. Paralysis because I feared devastating heartbreak had to give way to actually trying and to actually caring in order for me to progress, but I was terrified! The seeming caprice of prior failures, the painful losses of invested emotion. It took some counsel from compassionate friends to help me to make the leap of faith. And it worked out. It wasn't so bad. It was a good experience.

Shrapnel Removal
Maybe more terrifying still was confronting one of my past interests in order to find out why exactly she had chosen not to pursue things. I didn't realize just how hard the ambiguity was for me until a friend discussed a similar situation. I then realized that that would continue gnawing at me until I had the guts to ask her why, to cut through the generalities which were meant to protect me but which were really like a piece of shrapnel festering under the scar-marked surface. It's a hard thing to walk up to somebody and demand that they perform an invasive shrapnel removal operation. But that's what I had to do.

When she acquiesced, it set me free somehow. It was wonderful! She gave me her real reasons for calling a halt to the relationship, and they conformed exactly to my earlier suspicions. It wasn't the knowledge of the reasons that made a difference, really. It was getting her to deal straight with me. It was having enough respect for myself to ask for an explanation. To stop telling myself to just ignore that dull, occasionally stabbing, pain underneath the old wound, but to let myself get that hunk of rusted old metal removed.

"You're Stronger Than You Think You Are"
An interesting observation resulting from staying at my sister's house: I think I actually could do the parenting thing. I know I've still only had to deal with a small portion of my niece's and my nephews' craziness, and yet I feel confident that, especially with some of the skills I've begun to learn while here, I could do it. That's a pretty encouraging thought!

A good friend of mine told me several times, "You're stronger than you think you are, Josh," and I think I've actually started to believe it. To believe that perhaps the long-raging fires of adversity have wrought something more than just pain within me. What if they really have tempered me, made me stronger?

The Other Trip
We're also mid-way through the year (or very nearly). I've really been blessed this year. All of these blessings -- including those resulting from this trip home -- I attribute to God's great kindness in my life.

Well, my eyes are drooping downward in sleep. Thanks for reading, and good night!
- Josh

Pip pip! Cheerio!

Well, the Profile Picture Contest drew to a close with little fanfare on Saturday. And the winner received his prize of a box of brownie mix with even less fanfare in the bottom floor of the library next to my locker a few days ago! And the winner is:

"Sir Josh, Lord of Schmedbury" (my title) by David Hansen



The runner up:
"There Is No Try" (also my title) by Susanna Hansen


David is now the proud owner of a box of brownie mix. Susanna, sorry, I don't know if you get any prize aside from great glory and honor on the Internet. I took a picture of David in his moment of glory, but it was on his camera phone so he'll have to get the picture out to everyone.

I could probably be blamed for playing favorites, since it is two of my siblings who ended up with this lofty commendation. Well, blame away! But either way, I now have the coolest assortment of profile pictures ever!

Here's how I'm going to do things: as there were four contestants, I am going to use the next month to highlight their work by using one of their submissions as my facebook profile picture for a week. I'll go in this order: Mark, Clayton, Susanna, David.

By the way, did you notice that all of the contestants have last names ending in -son/-sen? Yeah, wacky. Sort of a homestar runner-ish thing, isn't it?

Here's a gallery of all of the submissions I received. Thanks everybody!

Mark Sanderson - Popsicle Collage

Clayton Anderson







David Hansen







Susanna Hansen

"That Evil May Be Done Away"

The most recent issue of BYU Political Review is well worth reading. In particular, I suggest that you read Why Europe is Losing the Fight Against Trafficking, Technology and the Rise of Modern Slavery, and Adoption and Corruption in Guatemala.

Against Secret Combinations
"Secret combinations" is a term used by the Book of Mormon to describe conspiratorial organizations that seek to exploit human beings. These three articles in the Political Review seem to me to be describing an increase in activity that would fall under the "secret combination" categorization. This is quite significant, given this scriptural warning:

Wherefore, the Lord commandeth you, when ye shall see these things come among you that ye shall awake to a sense of your awful situation, because of this secret combination which shall be among you.... For it cometh to pass that whoso buildeth it up seeketh to overthrow the freedom of all lands, nations, and countries; and it bringeth to pass the destruction of all people, for it is built up by the devil, who is the father of all lies.... Wherefore, I, Moroni, am commanded to write these things that evil may be done away, and that the time may come that Satan may have no power upon the hearts of the children of men, but that they may be persuaded to do good continually, that they may come unto the fountain of all righteousness and be saved (Ether 8:24-26).

To accompany those readings, why don't we look at the 18th Chapter of the Revelation of John, with slight modifications:

And after these things I saw another angel come down from heaven.... And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon/Los Angeles/Denver/Chicago/New York/Las Vegas/Miami the great is fallen.... And the politicians and consumers of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning, standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, "Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! for in one hour is thy judgment come."

And the salesmen and retailers of the earth shall weep and mourn over her; for no man buyeth their merchandise any more: The dollars and Euros, and blood diamonds, and of fancy wristwatches, and fine denim, and corduroy, and silk, and polyester, and all plastics, and all manner devices of silicon, and all manner devices of most precious memory chips, and of processors, and huge hard drives, and wireless capabilities; and perfumes, and colognes, and hand lotions, and bath beads; and soft drinks, and oil, and chocolate chip cookies, and Nutella, and beef, and chicken; and SUVs, and hybrid cars, and sweatshop laborers, and souls of men. And the foods that thy soul lusted after are departed from thee, and all things which were sugary and fattening are departed from thee, and thou shalt find them no more at all.

The manufacturers and salesmen of these things, which were made rich by her, shall stand afar off for the fear of her torment, weeping and wailing, and saying, "Alas, alas, that great city, that was clothed in fine denim, and corduroy, and polyester, and decked with credit cards, and precious cell phones, and jewelry! For in one hour so great riches is come to nought."

And every truck driver, and all the UPS fleet, and pilots, and as many as trade by interstate or by air, stood afar off, and cried when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, "What city is like unto this great city!" And they cast dust on their heads, and cried, weeping and wailing, saying, "Alas, alas, that great city, wherein were made rich all that had trucks on the highway and planes in the air by reason of her high cost of living! for in one hour is she made desolate."

Rejoice over her, thou heaven, and ye holy apostles and prophets; for God hath avenged you on her.... And the voice of pop artists, and rappers, and the music of guitarists, and drummers, shall be heard no more at all in thee; and no employee, of whatsoever work he does, shall be found any more in thee; and the sound of a lawnmower shall be heard no more at all in thee; and the light of a street lamp shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the boyfriend and of the girlfriend shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy CEO's and senators, gang leaders and governors were the great men of the earth; for by their advertisements and propaganda were all nations deceived. And in her was found the blood of prophets, and of saints, and of all that were slain upon the earth.

Profile Picture Contest - Extended!

Well, all of you avid contest-followers out there have realized that the deadline for the profile picture mega-competition has passed. Well, I sort of forgot about it. Because of that, I'm going to do something unprecedented: I'm extending the deadline for a whole week and a day. The contest is now over at the end of Saturday, March 8, 2008. Ah, but I didn't forget to buy the brownie mix :-)

Ah, but do not smugly believe that you can wait until the last day to slap together some entry and win! Oh no, 'tis not so! Here are the entries I've received so far. These are the ones to beat. Scour Facebook, beg your friends, draw your own. Go for it!

Mark Sanderson - Popsicle Collage
Unfortunately, this entry has been disqualified... because I made it! This is a collage I put together back when I was living with these guys at Moon Apartments.

Clayton Anderson








David Hansen

The Endorsement You've All Been Waiting For!

Endorsements, endorsements, endorsements! Everybody's getting into the endorsement business these days: Romney just endorsed McCain[1], Oprah's all for Obama[2], Bill Clinton endorsed Hillary Clinton[3], and my sources tell me even Oscar the Grouch is on the verge of endorsing somebody![4]

So what the heck, why not jump into the fray and endorse somebody myself? I've got all the right qualifications of former enemy-ship, pop culture cred, has-been status, and dumpster dwelling. So, who's it gonna be? Huh? Huh?

Well, just read the press release:

THE INTERNET. Feb. 12, 2008. After much speculation about which candidate would receive his support, irrelevant blogging personality and unemployed college graduate Josh Hansen unveiled his endorsement for President of the United States in 2008.

"After much deliberation and several late-night pizza runs, I am granting my weighty endorsement to Senator Barack Obama of Illinois," he announced at the press conference to a few cheers and scattered applause. "In addition to his undisputed status as the feel-good candidate, the senator shares many of my specific policy objectives, which I will now outline to you."

Hansen -- a well-known opponent of free markets, free trade, and prosperity -- cited Obama's love of factory jobs[5][Q1], profligate spending habits[6], and paternalistic policies[Q2][Q3] as factors. "The rise of high tech and the decline of unskilled labor, the abundance of educational opportunities for all citizens, and the unprecedented economic expansion that Americans have suffered in the last twenty years are unacceptable, and 'we, the people' have had enough," Mr. Hansen cried to an audience of reporters, politicos, and muppets. "They've shut our factories down, and who for, what for? For Google, that's who. For cheaper manufactured goods, that's what."

He elaborated his hopes with a further lament: "Senator Obama's thorough repudiation of free trade is our only hope of returning to blue collar bliss. The 'paradise lost' of strangled productivity must be regained." Warning against claims that disruptive economic adjustments in the short-run would lead to greater long-term prosperity[7], Hansen reminded listeners of the importance of living "for the moment. Looking too far into the future is the great danger of our time. Foresight never helped anyone to eat a doughnut in the here and now."

Mr. Hansen added his support for irresponsibility in Iraq. "I fear that our glorious defeat in Vietnam is being forgotten. The legacy of defeat must not be abandoned; only an abdication of responsibility in Iraq can prove that America's foreign policy a consistent one of aborted intervention." He also admitted his amusement at the thought of Iraqis "duking it out" in a post-bailout free-for-all.

Rising to his greatest height of oratory elegance, the ex-student urged the faithful onward. "The 'better angels of our nature'[8] resonate with Senator Obama's cry of protectionism, paternalism, and defeatism. It is a glorious message of hope in the face of progress, security in place of opportunity, and surrender when confronted with the threat victory. Turn not back from the noble cause, but fight on, for great shall be our victory!"

Photos come from references [1], [2], [3], and [4].

References
[1] Romney Endorses McCain - Capital News 9
[2] Oprah in Des Moines - The New York Times Politics Blog
[3] The Shamelessness of Bill and Hillary Clinton - Telegraph.co.uk
[4] Oscar the Grouch - Muppet Wiki
[5] Barack Obama's Feb. 12 Speech - New York Times
[6] Candidates' Earmarks Worth Millions - washingtonpost.com
[7] Commanding Heights: Lawrence Summers on PBS, The Importance of NAFTA - PBS
[8] Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address - WikiSource

Quotations
These excerpts are by Barack Obama and come from a blog post carried by his website: Obama's Economic Policy Address at the Janesville GM Assembly Plant.

[Q1] It’s a Washington where decades of trade deals like NAFTA and China have been signed with plenty of protections for corporations and their profits, but none for our environment or our workers who’ve seen factories shut their doors and millions of jobs disappear; workers whose right to organize and unionize has been under assault for the last eight years.

[Q2] A few weeks ago I offered an economic stimulus package based on a simple principle – we should get immediate relief into the hands of people who need it the most and will spend it the quickest. I proposed sending each working family a $500 tax cut and each senior a $250 supplement to their Social Security check. And if the economy gets worse, we should double those amounts.
Neither George Bush nor Hillary Clinton had that kind of immediate, broad-based relief in their original stimulus proposals, but I’m glad that the stimulus package that was recently passed by Congress does. We still need to go further, though, and make unemployment insurance available for a longer period of time and for more Americans who find themselves out of work. We should also provide assistance to state and local governments so that they don’t slash critical services like health care or education.

[Q3] [We would] help those who are facing closure refinance their mortgages so they can stay in their homes. And I’d provide struggling homeowners relief by offering a tax credit to low- and middle-income Americans that would cover ten percent of their mortgage interest payment every year.

Being Postsuppositional

My thinking has started along many of these lines before, but I never followed them through to a proper conclusion as this logical/philosophical analysis does. I didn't read every word (it's pretty hefty) but what I did read was quite striking.

Josh Hansen Profile Picture Mega-Competition 2008! (Updated 1)

I've arrived at the pinnacle of vanity, and now, as a rite of passage, I must hold a profile picture competition. I've had some pretty sweet profile pictures in the past, if I do say so myself (and I think I just did.) I know you've all been hording pictures of Josh Hansen for ages; now it's time to dust off the photo albums, get those pages from your scrapbook, and scour your computer for the best of the best.

With that preamble, I hereby proclaim the much-anticipated

Josh Hansen Profile Picture Mega-Competition 2008!
Which, of course, was not anticipated by anybody, ever!

The idea: Gather up your photos of me, use your imagination, photoshop, oil paints, whatever -- and crank out the awesomest picture for Josh Hansen to use on his Facebook profile.

The rules:

1. Your submission must somehow use a picture of me (Josh Hansen) or some recognizable reproduction thereof (drawings, sculptures, sock puppets, etc.) and must be usable as a profile picture on Facebook.
2. It mustn't be offensive, according to me.
   
3. I have to like it. (In case that wasn't already obvious.)
   

Submissions: Email images to me. If you don't know my email address or how to get it, then you probably shouldn't be entering ;-)

Deadline: February 29th at 11:59:59 pm.

THE PRIZE: A box of brownie mix with a bow on it. I'm too lazy to cook the brownies for you, sorry. But this way you can have brownies whenever you want!

Prior Profile Pics
Here are all of my past profile pictures, which you are welcome to use as source material:

Valentine - 16 December 2006. Frame and caption by Mark Sanderson.



Profile Profile - 9 February 2007. Photo by Britten Sessions.



On The Seine - 9 June 2007. Photo by Grace/Charlotte/Tommy/Molly.



On The Seine - Wide Angle - 9 June 2007. Photo by Grace/Charlotte/Tommy/Molly.



Gawking At Paris - 30 August 2007. Photo by Grace/Charlotte/Tommy/Molly.



Disturbing - 5 November 2007. (This is the one that my friends in Russian 201 put up for me. If you try photoshopping my face onto this creepy guy's body, you will lose! Though it might still be worth doing for humor's sake.)



Attack - Black Background - 5 November 2007. Photo by Sam Lasley.



Attack - White Background - 5 November 2007. Photo by Sam Lasley.



Guitongue - 7 January 2008. (My current picture). Photo by my niece? My nephew?

For those of you who have made it this far, it's worth observing the disproportionate number of photos in which I am wearing some kind of vest. Interesting....

Update 1: Added PRIZE information!

Flags

And a harsh foreign policy view by means of color-coded flags.

It Cuts Deep

Mwa ha ha, you fools! You thought it mattered who gets elected this fall! Oh that's funny!

Okay, so it does matter. A lot. But some things are likely to stay the same. From foreignpolicy.com's "Passport" blog.

Driven by Cruelty

Strange how a nation whose people pride themselves so much in fair treatment of each individual can be so driven by cruelty against those they refuse to understand. Here's an honest assessment by the Wall Street Journal: Mormons Dismayed by Harsh Spotlight.

Immigration's Economic Key

Problems With the Romney Plan
Mitt Romney's plan to end illegal immigration worries me. In particular, this point bodes ill for the economy:

Encourage Legal Immigration. Streamline the system to recruit and retain skilled workers and welcome the best and the brightest from around the world to our universities.

To begin with, we already get "the best and brightest from around the world" in our universities. Some countries suffer from substantial "brain drain" that largely goes to the United States. Also, I support the idea of making the legal immigration system work. The big question is, Who decides how many people from where get to come?

But the real problem I see here is two-fold. First, it is not only skilled but also unskilled labor that is in demand. Second, who decides what makes somebody skilled? Which skills are useful? The freewheeling illegal immigration that has been occurring lets the market determine the answer to that. Any other system is likely to suffer from attempts at micromanaging the economy -- a sort of outward-looking central planning system. Think of it as the Soviet Union take on immigration. Great.

Key Economics
The crux of the matter is the ability of illegal workers to undercut citizens/nationals by working for less than minimum wage. If we remove this ability by tighter border enforcement, active prosecution of employers who pay unlawfully low wages, and easier legal entry to help document and track those who come in to the country, then I believe we would have the following results:

1. Lower-class citizens/nationals would be better able to compete for jobs in the lowest wage range.
2. Increased prices of consumer goods due to higher labor costs for employers.
3. Decreased employment overall, but, at least initially, a higher proportion of those employed will be citizens/nationals, and those employed will be paid at least minimum wage.

If we as a nation decide that that is a desirable combination of outcomes, then let's do it.

Dance Party

I went to a dance party tonight. It was almost against my will - I figured I would probably end up going, but when the time came I didn't really feel like leaving the apartment. But, I had told some of the girls from the hosting apartment that I would see them there, so I felt like I needed to.

Well, it was fun! Back in high school and my freshman year of college I was a pretty enthusiastic dancer, but I've sort of lost the taste for it or something lately. But it's really that I don't have as much energy as I used to, since many times when I actually get around to dancing I remember that I like it. It's fun to move to the music and it's something that I naturally like to do -- unless there are people around. Then I have to overcome a bit of self-consciousness.

Crosswalk

I was walking home from the library. As I was nearing crosswalk, a guy coming the other direction pushed the crossing button for me just in time for it to turn green as I arrived. I said thanks and went happily on home. It put a smile on my face. So push the button for the unsuspecting pedestrians in your life :-)